CHAPTER VII.
OF HIS MARRIAGE

1. Although the great Apostle has ranked the "forbidding to marry" among the "doctrines of devils," and has expressly declared, "Marriage is honorable in all men, and the bed undefiled;" yet a kind of prejudice hangs on the minds of many even of those that love God, inclining them to disapprove of the marriage of persons eminent in religion. Yea, many are of opinion that it is not consistent with high degrees of holiness; and that when any who have deep experience in the things of God marry, they are in some measure fallen from grace. Hence many were surprised that so eminent a Christian as Mr. Fletcher should take this step. And they could hardly help thinking that he had lost some degree of his excellent piety, and that he was not so unreservedly devoted to God as he had been some time before.

2. In order to satisfy every reasonable person that he had not sustained any loss at all, that his entire self-devotion was in novice impaired, either before or at the time of his marriage, I believe the most convincing way will be to give as particular an account as possible of what occurred at that time. The account is given by one that was an eye and ear witness of what she relates; and whoever seriously considers this account will easily perceive that his soul was at that time all alive, and wholly devoted to God. And I cannot but recommend this whole transaction to the imitation of all Christians who enter the holy state of matrimony.

3. As I think it highly expedient to premise some account of the person whom Mr. Fletcher chose as his companion for life, I am glad to find this done to my hand in the letter which I shall now subjoin: —

"Reverend Sir,

"I think it my privilege, and have often found it a blessing, to comply with the request of my honored father, which I now do also in great love to my valuable and much esteemed friends, Mr. and Mrs. Fletcher. I will therefore endeavor, with the assistance of my gracious Lord, to recollect and acquaint you with some particulars of the life and character of these truly devoted servants of God, with whose intimate acquaintance I have been favored for near thirty years. But, indeed, I feel my great insufficiency to relate what might be said with the strictest truth of these worthies.

"My acquaintance with Mrs. Fletcher began when she was about seventeen years of age. She had from her early childhood been strongly drawn to seek the Crucified, and was now athirst for a clean heart, and longed to have a right spirit renewed within her. Nor did her desire to love God with all her heart lessen, but increase, her love to her neighbor; as I, the most unworthy, am well able to testify, to whom she has been a tried friend, even to the present hour.

"To give you a clear view of this, I need only transcribe part of a letter, which she wrote to me, May 23, 1757: —

"’My dearest Friend,

"’The Lord has been indeed merciful, above all we can ask or think. I found a greater blessing the last time I was with you than ever. I am more enabled to prayer, and to an earnest seeking after holiness. But what most stirs me up is, I seem to hear the Lord calling upon me, Depart ye, depart ye; go ye out thence; touch not the unclean thing; be ye clean that bear the vessels of the Lord. For some time, these words have been much in my mind, with both pleasure and profit. But within this day or two, the Lord has more clearly shown me the way wherein I ought to walk. He seems to call me out to more activeness; so that I am ready to cry out, What wouldest thou have me to do? Then I consider, Can I do any more for the souls or bodies of the poor about me? But this does not seem to be the thing. What I am now led to wish for is, with both soul and body to serve those who are in Christ. And as soon as the Lord has prepared me for his work, and set me at liberty, my firm resolution is, by the grace of God, to be wholly given up to the Church. I plainly see, I have no more to do with the world, than to allow myself the necessaries of life. And though it has please a God that I have no need to work for my living, yet surely that is no reason my hand should be idle. I would be like those described 1 Timothy 5:10 to bring up children, to lodge strangers, to be ready to do the meanest offices for the saints, to relieve the afflicted, to visit the fatherless and widow, and diligently to follow every good work. O pray for me, that the Lord may shorten his work in me, and quickly make an end of sin! O that he would say to my soul, Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee! O when shall I be wholly given up, both body and soul, to Him who gave himself for me?’

"I admired the spirit of this letter; but little expected to see these good desires brought so fully into practice, as they were in a few years after. And this may suffice as a clear proof that God fulfills the desire of them that fear him; yea, and shows unto them the path wherein he would have them to walk. That her light given before was not delusive, is plain; as it is well known, how many years she has ’brought up children, lodged strangers,’ relieved the afflicted, and ’diligently followed every good work.’

"With regard to the dear saint that is now swallowed up in his beloved employment, praise and adoration, it is eight or nine and twenty years since I was first favored with his heavenly conversation, in company with Mr. Walsh and a few other friends, most of whom are now in the world of spirits. At these seasons, how frequently did we feel

How frequently were we silenced thereby, while tears of love our eyes o’erflowed! It sweetly affects my soul while I recollect the humility, fervor of spirit, and strength of faith, with which dear Mr. Fletcher so often poured out his soul before the great Three-One, at whose feet we have lain in holy shame and divine silence, till it seemed earth was turned to heaven! With what delight does my soul recall those precious moments! Yet a little while, and we shall all magnify His name together.

"This heavenly-minded servant of the Lord resembled him likewise in his love to precious souls. I heard him preach his first sermon at West-Street chapel. I think his text was, ’Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.’ His spirit appeared in his whole attitude and action, though he could not well find words in the English language to express himself: But he supplied that defect by offering up prayers, tears, and sighs abundantly. Nearly about this time he saw Miss Bosanquet, and began his acquaintance with her. But although they had a particular esteem for each other, yet they had no correspondence for above twenty years. It was not till the yearly Conference drew near, in July, 1781, that he paid her a visit at her own house near Leeds. They had much conversation together, and contracted an intimate acquaintance. After a few days, Miss Bosanquet asked Mr. Wesley’s advice concerning Mr. Fletcher’s proposal, who approved it entirely; being persuaded, it would be much to the glory of God. He spent much of his time at Cross-Hall, till the following January. His general conversation was praising God, and speaking of the love of our dear Redeemer. He took opportunities likewise of speaking to every one in the family concerning the state of their souls, and giving them from time to time such directions as were suitable thereto. At other times he met us all together, and gave us proper exhortations and directions. Our daily meals were as a sacrament. When he drank to any one, it was, ’Heavenly health,’ or, ’The cup of salvation.’ At or after the meal, he generally begun, or called us to begin, that verse, —

After dinner he often sung several verses of ’Primitive Christianity;’ particularly that, —

O that my Lord would count me meet
To wash his dear disciples’ feet!

Sometimes he read many of those verses with tears streaming down his face. Thus did he walk with God, filled with the Spirit of his beloved Lord; confirming his love to all the family, and caring both for their spiritual and temporal concerns.

"My soul was much affected, when he asked each of us, in a sweet, humble manner, ’Can you give me your friend?’ To think of parting, was indeed grievous to us all. Yet we did not dare to withhold her from him; as we all believed the union was of God, and would be to their present and eternal benefit. The first sermon which he preached in Leeds, on the Sunday morning before the Conference, will never be forgotten by any that heard it, who desire to be perfected in love. He preached in many places while in Yorkshire, and to numerous congregations. I have heard of many who were greatly blessed thereby; some convinced, others set at liberty. And whenever he either preached or conversed, the comforts of the Holy Ghost were multiplied.

"Monday, November 12, was the day appointed for the outward uniting of those whose hearts were before united by the Holy Spirit. On the morning of this day, several friends met together on this solemn occasion; who can all, as well as me, truly say, ’I have been at one Christian wedding.’ Jesus was invited, and truly he was at our Cana. We reached Cross-Hall before family-prayers. Mr. Fletcher was dressed in his canonicals; and after giving out one of Mr. Wesley’s marriage-hymns, he read the seventh, eighth, and ninth verses of the nineteenth chapter of the Revelation; and spoke from them in such a manner as greatly tended to spiritualize the solemnities of the day. He said, ’We invite you to our wedding; but the Holy Ghost here invites you to the marriage of the Lamb. The Bride, the Lamb’s wife, has made herself ready. This Bride consists of the whole Church triumphant and militant united together. Ye may all be the Bride, and Jesus will condescend to be the Bridegroom. Make yourself ready by being filled with the spirit.’ He was very solemn in prayer, and said, ’Lord, thou knowest, we would not take this step, if we had not eternity in view, and if we were not as willing to be carried into the churchyard as to go into the church.’ At breakfast he reminded us, ’The positions are now ready to carry us to the church, in order to see our nuptials solemnized; but death will soon be here, to transport us to the marriage of the Lamb.’

"On the way to the church, (Batley church, which was near two miles off,) he spoke much of the mystery which is couched under marriage, namely, the union between Christ and his Church. ’The first Adam,’ said he, ’received his wife from his side; our heavenly Adam purchased his bride by a fountain opened in his pierced side.’ They were married in the face of the congregation; the doors were opened, and everyone came in that would. We then returned home, and spent a considerable time in singing and prayer. We were near twenty of us. I then presented Mrs. Fletcher with some wedding-hymns. She looked them over, and gave them to Mr. Fletcher. He read the scripture at the top, namely, ’Husbands, love your wives;’ and added, ’As Christ loved the Church.’ Then turning to us, he said, ’My God, what a task! Help me, my friends, by your prayers to fulfill it. As Christ loved the Church! He laid aside his glory for her! He submitted to be born into our world; to be clothed with a human body, subject to all our sinless infirmities. He endured shame, contempt, pain, yea, death itself, for his Church! O my God, none is able to fulfill this task without thine almighty aid. Help me, O my God! Pray for me, O my friends!’

"He next read, ’Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands.’ Mrs. Fletcher added, ’As unto the Lord.’ ’Well, my dear,’ returned Mr. Fletcher, ’only in the Lord; and if ever I wish you to do anything otherwise, resist me with all your might.’ From dinner, which was a spiritual meal, as well as a natural one, until tea-time, our time was spent chiefly in fervent prayer or singing. After singing the covenant-hymn, Mr. Fletcher went to Mrs. Fletcher, and said to her, ’Well, my dearest friend, will you join with me in joining ourselves in a perpetual covenant to the Lord? Will you with me serve Him in his members? Will you help me to bring souls to the blessed Redeemer; and, in every possible way this day, lay yourself under the strongest ties you can, to help me to glorify my gracious Lord?’ She answered, like one that well knew where her strength lay, ’May my God help me so to do!’

"In the evening Mr. Valton preached in the hall, from those most suitable words: ’What shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits? I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the Lord.’ His words did not fall to the ground: Many were greatly refreshed. After preaching, there was a sweet contest among us every one thought, ’I in particular owe the greatest debt of praise;’ till we jointly agreed to sing,

’I’ll praise my Maker, while I’ve breath;
And when my voice is lost in death.
Praise shall employ my nobler powers:
My days of praise shall ne’er be past,
While life, or thought, or being last,
Or immortality endures.’

"On the Wednesday following the select society met; and it was a precious season. Among other things, Mr. Fletcher said, ’Some of you perhaps may be a little surprised at the step my dearest friend and I have taken. But I assure you, it was the result of much prayer and mature deliberation. Five-and-twenty years ago, when I first saw my dear wife, I thought, if I ever married, she should be the person. But she was too rich for me to think of; so I banished every thought of the kind. For many years after, I had a distaste to a married life, thinking it impossible to be as much devoted to God in a married as in a single life. But this objection was removed, by reading, Enoch begat sons and daughters. And Enoch walked with God, and was not; for God took him. I then saw, if Enoch at the head of a family might walk with God, and be fit for translation; our souls under the gospel dispensation might attain the highest degree of holiness in a similar state, if too great an attachment, leading the soul from God rather than to him, did not take place; instead of that which should be a means of increasing its union with Jesus. Yet still many obstacles stood in my way; but at length they were all removed. Every mountain became a plain; and we are both well assured, that the step we took had the full approbation of God.’

"On January 2, 1782, we had a very solemn parting. But in the midst of all the sorrow which we felt, was a sweet assurance that we should meet again, not only in this world, but

This brings to my mind a sentence which he wrote to us, a little before his death: ’Time is short. It remains, that we die daily. Stand fast in Christ, the resurrection and the life. That we may have a happy meeting is the wish and prayer of,

’Your affectionate friends,

’John and Mary Fletcher.’

"To repeat all the precious sayings of this servant of God would require many volumes; for his mouth was always opened with wisdom, tending to minister grace to the hearers. My earnest prayer is, that the spirit of faith, and love, and heavenly wisdom, may rest upon you also, and guide you in all your extensive labors, till they are swallowed up in eternal rest. I remain, Reverend Sir,

"Your unworthy child and servant,

"S. C."

4. I cannot help subjoining a reflection here, which at this time affected me much. Although I could in nowise condemn this marriage, yet on one account it gave me pain. When I was young, I was exceedingly affected with a relation in Mr. Herbert’s Life, — an account of Mr. Ferrar’s family, at Little Gidding, in Huntingdonshire; a very particular description of which is given in the "Arminian Magazine." I longed to see such another family, in any part of the three kingdoms. At length I had my desire; I did see exactly such another family: I saw a family full as much devoted to God, full as regular in all their exercises of devotion, and at least as exemplary in every branch of Christian holiness. This I saw, by the peculiar providence of God, settled at Leytonstone. O that it had continued there! The removal of it into Yorkshire I did not advise nor approve of. However, I rejoiced to see it settled somewhere; namely, at Cross-Hall, near Leeds. Again I did all that was in my power to perpetuate this glorious institution. It was now totally dissolved; and yet by a means which I did not; dare to oppose. "O God, how unsearchable are thy judgments; and thy ways past finding out!"