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A CASE OF MEASLES

"YOU’VE been looking like you were rather under the weather for the past week or two, Uncle Remus," said a gentleman to the old man.

"You’d be sorter puny, too, boss, if you’der bin whar I bin."

"Where have you been?"

"Pear ter me like ev’eybody done year ’bout dat. Dey ain’t no ole nigger my age an’ size dat’s had no rattliner time dan I is."

"A kind of picnic?"

"Go long, boss! w’at you speck I be doin’ sailin’ ’roun’ ter dese yer cullud picnics? Much mo’ an’ I wouldn’t make bread by wulkiin fer’t, let ’lone follerin’ up a passel er boys an’ gals all over keration.
Boss, ain’t you year ’bout it, sho’ ’nuff?"

"I haven’t, really. What was the matter?"

"1 got strucken wid a sickness, an’ she hit de ole nigger a joe-darter
’fo’ she tu’n ’im loose."

"What kind of sickness?"

"Hit look sorter cu’ous, boss, but ole an’ steddy ez I is, I tuck’n kotch de meezies."

"Oh, get out! You are trying to get up a sensation."

"Hit’s a natal fack, boss, I declar’ ter grashus ef ’tain’t. Dey sorter come on wid a cole, like-leas’ways dat’s how I commence fer ter suffer, an’ den er koff got straddle er de cole-one dese yer koffs w’at look like bit goes ter de foundash’n. I kep’ on linger’n’ ’roun’
sorter keepin’ one eye on the rheumatiz an’ de udder on de distemper, twel, bimeby, I begin fer ter feel de trestle-wuk give way, an’ den I des know’d dat I wnz givineter gitter racket. I slipt inter bed one Chuseday night, an’ I never slip out no mo’ fer mighty nigh er mont’.

"Nex’ mornin’ de meezles ’d done kivered me, an’ den ef I didn’t git dosted by de ole ’oman I’m a Chinee. She gimme back rashuns er sassafac tea. I des natally hankered an’ got hongry atter water, an ev’y time I sing out fer water I got b’ilin’ hot sassafac tea. Hit got so dat w’en I wake up in de mornin’ de ole ’oman ’d des come long wid a kittle er tea an’ fill me up. Dey tells me ’roun’ town dat chilluns don’t git hurted wid de meezles, w’ich ef dey don’t I wanter be a baby de nex’ time dey hits dis place. All dis yer meezies bizuess is bran’-new ter me. In ole times, ’fo’ de wah, I ain’t heer tell er no seventy-fi’-year-ole nigger grapplin’ wid no meezies. Dey ain’t ketchin’ no mo’, is dey, boss?"

"Oh, no-I suppose not."

’Kase ef dey is, youk’n des put my name down wid de migrashun niggers."