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Old Friends, Epistolary Parody
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Letter: From the Rev. Charles Honeyman to Harold Skimpole, Esq. Cursitor Street, May 1
My Dear Skimpole,—How would I have joyed, had Providence placed it within my power to relieve your distress! But it cannot be. Like the Carthaginian Queen of whom we read in happier days at dear old Borhambury, I may say that I am haud ignarus mali. But, alas! the very evils in which I am not unlearned, make it impossible for me to add miseris succurrere disco! Rather am I myself in need of succour. You, my dear Harold, have fallen among thieves; I may too truly add that in this I am your neighbour. The dens in which we are lodged are contiguous; we are separated only by the bars. Your note was sent on hither from my rooms in Walpole Street. Since we met I have known the utmost that woman’s perfidy and the rich man’s contumely can inflict. But I can bear my punishment. I loved, I trusted. She to whose hand I aspired, she on whose affections I had based hopes at once of happiness in life and of extended usefulness in the clerical profession, SHE was less confiding. She summoned to her council a minion of the Law, one Briggs. HIS estimate of my position and prospects could not possibly tally with that of one whose HOPES are not set where the worldling places them. Let him, and such as he, take thought for the morrow and chaffer about settlements. I do not regret the gold to which you so delicately allude. I sorrow only for the bloom that has been brushed from the soaring pinions of a pure and disinterested affection. Sunt lacrymae rerum, and the handkerchief in which I bury my face is dank with them.
Nor is this disappointment my only CROSS. The carrion-birds of commerce have marked down the stricken deer from their eyries in Bond Street and Jermyn Street. To know how Solomons has behaved, and the BLACK colours in which Moss (of Wardour Street) has shown himself, is to receive a new light on the character of a People chosen under a very different Dispensation! Detainers flock in, like ravens to a feast. At this moment I have endured the humiliation of meeting a sneering child of this world—Mr. Arthur Pendennis—the emissary of one {18} to whom I gave in other days the sweetest blossom in the garden of my affections—my sister—of one who has, indeed, behaved like a brother—IN LAW! My word distrusted, my statements received with a chilling scepticism by this NABOB Newcome, I am urged to make some "composition" with my creditors. The world is very censorious, the ear of a Bishop is easily won; who knows how those who have ENVIED talents not misused may turn my circumstances to my disadvantage? You will see that, far from aiding another, I am rather obliged to seek succour myself. But that saying about the sparrows abides with me to my comfort. Could aught be done, think you, with a bill backed by our joint names? On July 12 my pew-rents will come in. I swear to you that they HAVE NOT BEEN ANTICIPATED. Yours afflictedly,
CHARLES HONEYMAN.
P.S.—Would Jarndyce lend his name to a small bill at three months? You know him well, and I have heard that he is a man of benevolent character, and of substance. But "how hardly shall a rich man"— you remember the text.—C. H.
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Chicago: Andrew Lang, "Letter: From the Rev. Charles Honeyman to Harold Skimpole, Esq. Cursitor Street, May 1," Old Friends, Epistolary Parody, ed. Macaulay, G. C. (George Campbell), 1852-1915 and trans. Evans, Sebastian in Old Friends, Epistolary Parody Original Sources, accessed February 12, 2025, http://www.originalsources.com/Document.aspx?DocID=GD7VNK7EHHSCUU7.
MLA: Lang, Andrew. "Letter: From the Rev. Charles Honeyman to Harold Skimpole, Esq. Cursitor Street, May 1." Old Friends, Epistolary Parody, edited by Macaulay, G. C. (George Campbell), 1852-1915, and translated by Evans, Sebastian, in Old Friends, Epistolary Parody, Original Sources. 12 Feb. 2025. http://www.originalsources.com/Document.aspx?DocID=GD7VNK7EHHSCUU7.
Harvard: Lang, A, 'Letter: From the Rev. Charles Honeyman to Harold Skimpole, Esq. Cursitor Street, May 1' in Old Friends, Epistolary Parody, ed. and trans. . cited in , Old Friends, Epistolary Parody. Original Sources, retrieved 12 February 2025, from http://www.originalsources.com/Document.aspx?DocID=GD7VNK7EHHSCUU7.
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