VI.

1. But here I am aware of abundance of objections. You object, That to speak anything of myself, of what I have done, or am doing now, is mere boasting and vanity. This charge you frequently repeat. So, p. 102: "The following page is full of boasting." "You boast very much of the numbers you have converted;" (p. 113;) and again, "As to myself; I hope I shall never be led to imitate you in boasting." I think therefore it is needful, once for all, to examine this charge thoroughly; and to show distinctly what that good thing is which you disguise under this bad name.

(1.)From the year 1725 to 1729 I preached much, but saw no fruit of my labor. Indeed it could not be that I should; for I neither laid the foundation of repentance, nor of believing the gospel; taking it for granted, that all to whom I preached were believers, and that many of them "needed no repentance."

(2.)From the year 1729 to 1734, laying a deeper foundation of repentance, I saw a little fruit. But it was only a little; and no wonder: For I did not preach faith in the blood of the covenant.

(3.)From 1734 to 1738, speaking more of faith in Christ, I saw more fruit of my preaching, and visiting from house to house, than ever I had done before; though I know not if any of those who were outwardly reformed were inwardly and thoroughly converted to God.

(4.)From 1738 to this time, speaking continually of Jesus Christ, laying Him only for the foundation of the whole building, making him all in all, the first and the last; preaching only on this plan, "The kingdom of God is at hand; repent ye, and believe the gospel;" the "word of God ran" as fire among the stubble; it was "glorified" more and more; multitudes crying out, "What must we do to be saved?" and afterwards witnessing, "By grace we are saved through faith."

(5.)I considered deeply with myself what I ought to do; whether to declare the things I had seen, or not. I consulted the most serious friends I had. They all agreed, I ought to declare them; that the work itself was of such a kind, as ought in nowise to be concealed; and indeed, that the unusual circumstances now attending it, made it impossible that it should.

(6.)This very difficulty occurred: "Will not my speaking of this be boasting? at least, will it not be accounted so?" They replied, "If you speak of it as your own work, it will be vanity and boasting all over; but if you ascribe it wholly to God, if you give him all the praise, it will not. And if, after this, some will account it so still, you must be content, and bear the burden."

(7.)I yielded, and transcribed my papers for the press; only laboring, as far as possible, to "render unto God the things which are God’s;" to give him the praise of his own work.

2. But this very thing you improve into a fresh objection. If I ascribe anything to God, it is enthusiasm. If I do not (or if I do) it is vanity and boasting, supposing me to mention it at all. What then can I do to escape your censure? "Why, be silent; say nothing at all." I cannot, I dare not. Were I thus to please men, I could not be the servant of Christ.

You do not appear to have the least idea or conception of what is in the heart of one whom it pleases Him that worketh all in all to employ in a work of this kind. He is in nowise forward to be at all employed therein; he starts back, again and again; not only because he readily foresees what shame, care, sorrow, reproach, what loss of friends, and of all that the world accounts dear, will inevitably follow; but much more, because he (in some measure) knows himself. This chiefly it is which constrains him to cry out, (and that many times, in the bitterness of his soul, when no human eye seeth him,) "O Lord, send by whom thou wilt send, only send not me! What am I? A worm! A dead dog! A man unclean in heart and lips!" And when he dares no longer gainsay or resist, when he is at last "thrust out into the harvest," he looketh on the right hand and on the left, he takes every step with fear and trembling, and with the deepest sense (such as words cannot express) of "Who is sufficient for these things?" Every gift which he has received of God for the furtherance of his word, whether of nature or grace, heightens this fear, and increases his jealousy over himself; knowing that so much the stricter must the inquiry be, when he gives an account of his stewardship. He is most of all jealous over himself when the work of the Lord prospers in his hand. He is then amazed and confounded before God. Shame covers his face. Yet when he sees that he ought "to praise the Lord for his goodness, and to declare the wonders which he doeth for the children of men," he is in a strait between two; he knows not which way to turn; he cannot speak; he dares not be silent. It may be, for a time he "keeps his mouth with a bridle; he holds his peace even from good. But his heart is hot within him," and constrains him at length to declare what God hath wrought. And this he then doeth in all simplicity, with "great plainness of speech," desiring only to commend himself to Him who "searcheth the heart and trieth the reins;" and (whether his words are the savor of life or of death to others) to have that witness in himself, "As of sincerity, as of God, in the sight of God, speak we in Christ." If any man counts this boasting, he cannot help it. It is enough that a higher Judge standeth at the door.

3. But you may say, "Why do you talk of the success of the gospel in England, which was a Christian country before you was born?" Was it indeed? Is it so at this day? I would explain myself a little on this head also.

And,

(1.)None can deny, that the people of England, in general, are called Christians. They are called so, a few only excepted, by others, as well as by themselves. But I presume no man will say, that the name makes the thing; that men are Christians, barely because they are called so.

(2.)It must be allowed, that the people of England, generally speaking, have been christened or baptized. But neither can we infer, "These were once baptized; therefore they are Christians now."

(3.)It is allowed, that many of those who were once baptized, and are called Christians to this day, hear the word of God, attend public prayers, and partake of the Lord’s Supper. But neither does this prove that they are Christians. For, notwithstanding this, some of them live in open sin; and others (though not conscious to themselves of hypocrisy, yet) are utter strangers to the religion of the heart; are full of pride, vanity, covetousness, ambition; of hatred, anger, malice, or envy; and, consequently, are no more scriptural Christians, than the open drunkard or common swearer.

Now, these being removed, where are the Christians, from whom we may properly term England a Christian country? the men who have the mind which was in Christ, and who walk as he also walked; whose inmost soul is renewed after the image of God; and who are outwardly holy, as He who hath called them is holy? There are doubtless a few such to be found. To deny this would be want of candor. But how few! how thinly scattered up and down! And as for a Christian visible Church, or a body of Christians visibly united together, where is this to be seen?

Ye different sects, who all declare,

Lo! here is Christ, or, Christ is there!

Your stronger proofs divinely give,

And show me where the Christians live!

And what use is it of, what good end does it serve, to term England a Christian country? (Although it is true, most of the natives are called Christians, have been baptized, frequent the ordinances; and although a real Christian is here and there to be found, "as a light shining in a dark place.") Does it do any honor to our great Master, among those who are not called by his name? Does it recommend Christianity to the Jews, the Mahometans, or the avowed Heathens? Surely no one can conceive it does. It only makes Christianity stink in their nostrils. Does it answer any good end with regard to those on whom this worthy name is called? I fear not; but rather an exceeding bad one. For, does it not keep multitudes easy in their heathen practice? Does it not make or keep still greater numbers satisfied with their heathen tempers? Does it not directly tend to make both the one and the other imagine, that they are what indeed they are not; that they are Christians, while they are utterly without Christ, and without God in the world? To close this point: If men are not Christians till they are renewed after the image of Christ, and if the people of England in general are not thus renewed, why do we term them so? The God of this world hath long blinded their hearts. Let us do nothing to increase that blindness; but rather labor to recover them from that strong delusion, that they may no longer believe a lie.

4. Let us labor to convince all mankind, that to be a real Christian, is, to love the Lord our God with all our heart, and to serve him with all our strength; to love our neighbor as ourselves; and therefore do unto every man as we would he should do unto us. Nay, you say, "Had you confined yourselves to these great points, there would have been no objection against your doctrine. But the doctrines you have distinguished yourselves by, are not the love of God and man, but many false and pernicious errors." (Page 104.)

I have again and again, with all the plainness I could, declared what our constant doctrines are; whereby we are distinguished only from Heathens, or nominal Christians; not from any that worship God in spirit and in truth. Our main doctrines, which include all the rest, are three, — that of repentance, of faith, and of holiness. The first of these we account, as it were, the porch of religion; the next, the door; the third, religion itself.

That repentance or conviction of sin, which is always previous to faith, (either in a higher or lower degree, as it pleases God,) we describe in words to this effect: —

"When men feel in themselves the heavy burden of sin, see damnation to be the reward of it, behold with the eye of their mind the horror of hell; they tremble, they quake, and are inwardly touched with sorrowfulness of heart, and cannot but accuse themselves, and open their grief unto Almighty God, and call unto him for mercy. This being done seriously, their mind is so occupied, partly with sorrow and heaviness, partly with an earnest desire to be delivered from this danger of hell and damnation, that all desire of meat and drink is laid apart, and loathing of all worldly things and pleasure cometh in place. So that nothing then liketh them more, than to weep, to lament, to mourn; and both with words and behavior of body to show themselves weary of life."

Now, permit me to ask, What, if, before you had observed that these were the very words of our own Church, one of your acquaintance or parishioners had come and told you, that ever since he heard a sermon at the Foundry, he "saw damnation" before him, "and beholden with the eye of his mind the horror of hell?" What, if he had "trembled and quaked," and been so taken up "partly with sorrow and heaviness, partly with nn earnest desire to be delivered from the danger of hell and damnation," as to "weep, to lament, to mourn, and both with words and behavior to show himself weary of life?" Would you have scrupled to say, "Here is another ’deplorable instance’ of the ’Methodists driving men to distraction!’ See, ’into what excessive terrors, frights, doubts, and perplexities, they throw weak and well-meaning men! quite oversetting their understandings and judgments, and making them liable to all these miseries.’"

I dare not refrain from adding one plain question, which I beseech you to answer, not to me, but to God: Have you ever experienced this repentance yourself? Did you ever "feel in yourself that heavy burden of sin?" of sin in general, more especially, inward sin; of pride, anger, lust, vanity? of (what is all sin in one) that carnal mind which is emnity, essential emnity, against God? Do you know by experience what it is to "behold with the eye of the mind the horror of hell?" Was "your mind" ever so "taken up, partly with sorrow and heaviness, partly with an earnest desire to be delivered from this danger of hell and damnation, that even all desire of meat and drink" was taken away, and you "loathed all worldly things and pleasure?" Surely if you had known what it is to have the "arrows of the Almighty" thus "sticking fast in you," you could not so lightly have condemned those who now cry out, "The pains of hell come about me; the sorrows of death compass me, and the overflowings of ungodliness make me afraid."

5. Concerning the gate of religion, — (if it may be allowed so to speak,) the true, Christian, saving faith, — we believe it implies abundantly more than an assent to the truth of the Bible. "Even the devils believe that Christ was born of a virgin; that he wrought all kind of miracles; that for our sakes he suffered a most painful death to redeem us from death everlasting. These articles of our faith the very devils believe, and so they believe all that is written in the Old and New Testament. And yet, for all this faith, they be but devils. They remain still in their damnable estate, lacking the very true Christian faith.

"The right and true Christian faith is, not only to believe that the Holy Scriptures and the articles of our faith are true, but also to have a sure trust and confidence to be saved from everlasting damnation, through Christ." Perhaps it may be expressed more clearly thus: "A sure trust and confidence which a man hath in God, that by the merits of Christ his sins are forgiven, and he reconciled to the favor of God."

For giving this account of Christian faith, (as well as the preceding account of repentance, both which I have here also purposely described in the very terms of the Homilies,) I have been again and again, for near these eight years past, accused of enthusiasm; sometimes by those who spoke to my face, either in conversation, or from the pulpit: but more frequently by those who chose to speak in my absence; and not seldom from the press. I wait for those who judge this to be enthusiasm, to bring forth their strong reasons. Till then, I must continue to account all these the "words of truth and soberness."

6. Religion itself (I choose to use the very words wherein I described it long ago) we define, "The loving God with all our heart, and our neighbor as ourselves; and in that love abstaining from all evil, and doing all possible good to all men." The same meaning we have sometimes expressed a little more at large thus: "Religion we conceive to be no other than love; the love of God and of all mankind; the loving God ’with all our heart, and soul, and strength,’ as having ’first loved us,’ as the fountain of all the good we have received, and of all we ever hope to enjoy; and the loving every soul which God hath made, every man on earth, as our own soul.

"This love we believe to be the medicine of life, the never-failing remedy for all the evils of a disordered world, for all the miseries and vices of men. Wherever this is, there are virtue and happiness going hand in hand. There is humbleness of mind, gentleness, longsuffering, the whole image of God, and, at the same time, a peace that passeth all understanding, and joy unspeakable and full of glory.

"This religion we long to see established in the world, a religion of love, and joy, and peace; having its seat in the heart, in the inmost soul, but ever showing itself by its fruits; continually springing forth, not only in all innocence, (for love worketh no ill to his neighbor,) but likewise in every kind of beneficence, spreading virtue and happiness all around it."

If this can be proved by Scripture or reason to be enthusiastic or erroneous doctrine, we will then plead guilty to the indictment of "teaching error and enthusiasm." But if this be the genuine religion of Christ, then will all who advance this charge against us be found false witnesses before God, in the day when he shall judge the earth.

7. However, with regard to the fruits of our teaching, you say, "It is to be feared, the numbers of serious men who have been perplexed and deluded are much greater than the numbers of notorious sinners who have been brought to repentance and good life." (Page 113.) "Indeed, if you could prove that the Methodists were, in general, very wicked people before they followed you, and that all you have been teaching them is, the love of God and their neighbor, and a care to keep his commandments, which accordingly they have done since, you would stop the mouths of all adversaries at once. But we have great reason to believe that the generality of the Methodists, before they became so, were serious, regular, and well-disposed people." (Page 103.)

If the question were proposed, "Which are greater, the numbers of serious men who have been perplexed and deluded, or of notorious sinners who have been brought to repentance and good life," by these Preachers, throughout England, within seven years? it might be difficult for you to fix the conclusion. For England is a place of wide dimensions; nor is it easy to make a satisfactory computation, unless you confine yourself within a smaller compass. Suppose then we were to contract the question, in order to make it a little less unwieldy. We will bound our inquiry, for the present, within a square of three or four miles. It may be certainly known by candid men, both what has been and what is now done within this distance; and from hence they may judge of those fruits elsewhere, which they cannot be so particularly informed of.

Inquire then, "Which are greater, the numbers of serious men, perplexed and deluded by these Teachers, or of notorious sinners brought to repentance and good life," within the forest of Kingswood? Many indeed of the inhabitants are nearly as they were; are not much better or worse for their preaching; because the neighboring Clergy and Gentry have successfully labored to deter them from hearing it. But between three and four hundred of those who would not be deterred are now under the care of those Preachers. Now, what number of these were serious Christians before? Were fifty? Were twenty? Were ten? Peradventure there might five such be found. But it is a question whether there could or no. The remainder were gross, open sinners, common swearers, drunkards, Sabbath-breakers, whoremongers, plunderers, robbers, implacable, unmerciful, wolves and bears in the shape of men. Do you desire instances of more "notorious sinners" than these? I know not if Turkey or Japan can afford them. And what do you include in "repentance and good life?" Give the strictest definition thereof that you are able; and I will undertake, these once notorious sinners shall be weighed in that balance, and not found wanting.

8. Not that all the Methodists (so called) "were very wicked people before they followed us." There are those among them, and not a few, who are able to stop the boasting of those that despise them, and to say, "Whereinsoever any of you is bold, I am bold also:" Only they "count all these things but loss, for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus." But these we found, as it were, when we sought them not. We went forth to "seek that which was lost;" (more eminently lost;) "to call" the most flagrant, hardened desperate "sinners to repentance." To this end we preached in the Horsefair at Bristol, in Kingswood, in Newcastle; among the colliers in Staffordshire, and the tinners in Cornwall; in Southwark, Wapping, Moorfields, Drury-Lane, at London. Did any man ever pick out such places as these, in order to field "serious, regular, well-disposed people?" How many such might then be in any of them, I know not. But this I know, that four in five of those who are now with us were not of that number, but were wallowing in their blood, till God by us said unto them, "Live."

Sir, I willingly put the whole cause on this issue: What are the general consequences of this preaching? Are there more tares or wheat? more "good men destroyed," (that is the proper question,) or "wicked men saved?" The last place where we began constant preaching is a part of Wiltshire and Somersetshire, near Bath. Now, let any man inquire at Rhode, Bradford, Wrexall, or among the colliers at Coleford,

(1.)What kind of people were those "before they followed these men?"

(2.)What are the main doctrines they have been teaching for this twelvemonth?

(3.)What effect have these doctrines upon their followers? What manner of lives do they lead now? And if you do not find,

(1.)That three in four of these were, two years ago, notoriously wicked men;

(2.)That the main doctrines they have heard since, were, "Love God and your neighbor, and carefully keep his commandments;" and,

(3.)That they have since exercised themselves herein, and continue so to do; — I say, if you, or any reasonable man, who will be at the pains to inquire, does not find this to be an unquestionable fact, I will openly acknowledge myself an enthusiast, or whatsoever else you shall please to style me.

Only onle caution I would give to such an inquirer: Let him not ask the colliers of Coleford, "Were not the generality of you, before you followed these men, serious, regular, well-disposed people?" Were you not "offended at the profaneness and debauchery of the age?" And "was it not this disposition which at first made you liable to receive these impressions?" (Second Letter, p. 103.) Because if he talk thus to some of those who do not yet "follow these men," perhaps he will not live to bring back their answer.

9. But will this, or a thousand such instances as this, "stop the mouths of all adversaries at once?" O Sir, would one expect such a thought as this in one that had read the Bible? What, if you could convert as many sinners as St. Paul himself? Would that "stop the mouths of all your adversaries?" Yea, if you could convert three thousand at one sermon, still you would be so far from "stopping all their mouths at once," that the greater part of them would gnash upon you with their teeth, and cry, "Away with such a fellow from the earth!"

I never, therefore, expect "to persuade the world," the majority of mankind, that I "have been," for some years, "advancing nothing" but what has a clear, immediate connection with "the true knowledge and love of God;" that God hath been pleased to use me, a weak, vile worm, in reforming many of my fellow-sinners, and making them, at this day, living witnesses of "inward and pure religion;" and that many of these, "from living in all sin, are quite changed, are become" so far "holy, that" though they are not "free from all sin," yet no sin hath dominion over them. And yet I do firmly believe, "it is nothing but downright prejudice, to deny or oppose any of these particulars." (Preface, page 5.)

"Allow Mr. Wesley," you say, "but these few points, and he will defend his conduct beyond exception." That is most true. If I have indeed "been advancing nothing but the true knowledge and love of God;" if God has made me an instrument in reforming many sinners, and bringing them to "inward and pure religion;" and if many of these continue holy to this day, and free from all wilful sin, then may I, even I, use those awful words, "He that despiseth me, despiseth Him that sent me." But I never expect the world to allow me one of these points. However, I must go on as God shall enable me. I must lay out whatsoever he intrusts me with, (whether others will believe I do it or no,) in advancing the true Christian knowledge of God, and the love and fear of God among men; in reforming (if so be it please him to use me still) those who are yet without God in the world; and in propagating inward and pure religion, — righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.

10. But you believe, I only corrupt those who were good Christians before, teaching them to revile and censure their neighbors, and to abuse the Clergy, notwithstanding all their meekness and gentleness, as I do myself. "I must declare," say you, "we have, in general, answered your pretense with all meekness and temper; the railing and reviling has been chiefly on the side of the Methodists." (Second Letter, page 16.)

Your first charge ran thus: "How have such abuses as these been thrown out by you against our regular Clergy, not the highest or the worthiest excepted!" (Remarks, p. 15.) I answered, "I am altogether clear in this matter, as often as it has been objected: Neither do I desire to receive any other treatment from the Clergy, than they have received from me to this day." (Page 399.)

You reply,

(1.)"One instance of your misrepresenting and injuring a Preacher of our Church I mentioned." (Second Letter, p. 100.) Mentioned! Well, but did you prove it was an injury or misrepresentation? I know not that you once attempted it.

(2.)You next quote part of a letter from the Third Journal; (vol. I. p. 184;) wherein, according to your account, the "most considerable of our Clergy are abused, and at once accused in a very gross manner." (Second Letter, p. 106.) Set down the whole paragraph, and I will prove that this also is naked truth, and no abuse at all. You say,

(3.)"You approved of Whitefield’s railing against the Clergy;" that is, I say, "Mr. Whitefield preached concerning the ’Holy Ghost, which all who believe are to receive;’ not without a just, though severe, censure of those who preach as if there were no Holy Ghost." (Vol. I. p. 210.) Nor is this railing, but melancholy truth. I have myself heard several preach in this manner.

(4.)You cite my words: "Woe unto you, ye blind leaders of the blind! How long will you pervert the right ways of the Lord?" and add, "I appeal to yourself, whether you did not design this reflection against the Clergy in general who differ from you." No more than I did against Moses and Aaron. I expressly specify whom I design: "Ye who tell the mourners in Zion, Much religion hath made you mad." You say,

(5.)(with a N. B.,) "All the Clergy who differ from you, you style so, page 225; in which, and the foregoing page, you causelessly slander them as speaking of their own holiness as that for the sake of which, on account of which, we are justified before God."

Let any serious person read over those pages. I therein slander no man: I speak what I know; what I have both heard and read. The men are alive, and the books are extant. And the same conclusion I now defend, touching that part of the Clergy who preach or write thus; viz., it they preach the truth as it is in Jesus, I am found a false witness before God. But if I preach the way of God in truth, then they are blind leaders of the blind.

(6.)You quote those words, "Nor can I be said to intrude into the labors of those who do not labor at all, but suffer thousands of those for whom Christ died to perish for lack of knowledge." (Vol. I. p. 214.) I wrote that letter near Kingswood. I would to God the observation were not terribly true!

(7.)The first passage you cite from the "Earnest Appeal," (pages 25, 26,) evidently relates to a few only among the Clergy; and if the charge be true but of one in five hundred, it abundantly supports my reasoning.

(8.)In the next, (Ibid. page 30,) I address all those, and those only, who affirm that I preach for gain.

You conclude: "The reader has now before him the manner in which you have been pleased to treat the Clergy; and your late sermon is too fresh an instance of the like usage of the Universities." (Second Letter, p. 107.) It is an instance of speaking the truth in love. So I desire all mankind may use me. Nor could I have said less either to the University or the Clergy without sinning against God and my own soul.

11. But I must explain myself a little on that practice which you so often term "abusing the Clergy." I have many times great sorrow and heaviness in my heart on account of these my brethren. And this sometimes constrains me to speak to them, in the only way which is now in my power; and sometimes, though rarely, to speak of them; of a few, not all in general. In either case, I take an especial care,

(1.)To speak nothing but the truth.

(2.)To speak this with all plainness. And,

(3.)With love, and in the spirit of meekness. Now, if you will call this abusing, railing, or reviling, you must.

But still I dare not refrain from it. I must thus rail, thus abuse sinners of all sorts and degrees, unless I will perish with them.

When I first read your declaration, that our brethren "in general had treated us with all meekness and temper," I had thoughts of spreading before you a few of the flowers which they have strewed upon us with no sparing hand. But, on reflection, I judged it better to forbear. Let them die and be forgotten!

As to those of the people called Methodists, whom you suppose to "rail at and abuse the Clergy," and to "revile and censure their neighbors," I can only say, Which are they! Show me the men. And if it appear, that any of those under my care habitually "censure" or "revile" others, whether Clergy or laity, I will make them an example, for the benefit of all the rest.

Touching you, I believe I was afraid without cause. I do not think you advanced a wilful untruth. This was a rash word. I hereby openly retract it, and ask pardon of God and you.

To draw toward a conclusion: Whosoever they are that "despise me, and make no account of my labors," I know that they are "not in vain in the Lord;" and that I have not "fought as one that beateth the air." I still see (and I praise "the Father of Lights, from whom every good and perfect gift descendeth") a continual increase of pure religion and undefiled, of the love of God and man, of the "wisdom" which is "pure and peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy, and of good fruits." I see more and more of those "who before lived in a thorough contempt of God’s ordinances, and of all duties, now zealously discharging their duties to God and man, and walking in all his ordinances blameless." A few indeed I have seen draw back to perdition, chiefly through a fear of being "righteous overmuch." And here and there one has fallen into Calvinism, or turned aside to the Moravians. But, I doubt not, these "are in a better state" than they were before they heard us. Admit they are in error, yea, and die therein, yet who dares affirm they will perish everlastingly? But had they died in gross sin, we are sure they had fallen into "the fire that never shall be quenched."

I have now considered, as far as my time would permit, (not everything in your letter, whether of moment or no, but,) those points which I conceived to be of the greatest weight. That God may lead us both into all truth, and that we may not drop our love in the pursuit of it, is the continual prayer of,

Reverend Sir,

Your friend and servant for Christ’s sake,

John Wesley.

June 17, 1746