Sketches New and Old

Author: Mark Twain

Chapter IV

[Scene—The Studio.]

"The six months will be up at two o’clock to-day! Oh, agony! My life is blighted. I would that I were dead. I had no supper yesterday. I have had no breakfast to-day. I dare not enter an eating-house. And hungry? —don’t mention it! My bootmaker duns me to death—my tailor duns me— my landlord haunts me. I am miserable. I haven’t seen John since that awful day. She smiles on me tenderly when we meet in the great thoroughfares, but her old flint of a father makes her look in the other direction in short order. Now who is knocking at that door? Who is come to persecute me? That malignant villain the bootmaker, I’ll warrant. Come in!"

"Ah, happiness attend your highness—Heaven be propitious to your grace! I have brought my lord’s new boots—ah, say nothing about the pay, there is no hurry, none in the world. Shall be proud if my noble lord will continue to honor me with his custom—ah, adieu!"

"Brought the boots himself! Don’t wait his pay! Takes his leave with a bow and a scrape fit to honor majesty withal! Desires a continuance of my custom! Is the world coming to an end? Of all the—come in!"

"Pardon, signore, but I have brought your new suit of clothes for—"

"Come in!"

"A thousand pardons for this intrusion, your worship. But I have prepared the beautiful suite of rooms below for you—this wretched den is but ill suited to—"

"Come in!"

"I have called to say that your credit at our bank, some time since unfortunately interrupted, is entirely and most satisfactorily restored, and we shall be most happy if you will draw upon us for any—"


"My noble boy, she is yours! She’ll be here in a moment! Take her— marry her—love her—be happy!—God bless you both! Hip, hip, hur—"

"COME IN!!!!!"

"Oh, George, my own darling, we are saved!"

"Oh, Mary, my own darling, we are saved—but I’ll swear I don’t know why nor how!"


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Chicago: Mark Twain, "Chapter IV," Sketches New and Old, trans. Hapgood, Isabel Florence, 1850-1928 in Sketches New and Old (London: Effingham Wilson, Royal Exchange, 1920), Original Sources, accessed September 30, 2022,

MLA: Twain, Mark. "Chapter IV." Sketches New and Old, translted by Hapgood, Isabel Florence, 1850-1928, in Sketches New and Old, London, Effingham Wilson, Royal Exchange, 1920, Original Sources. 30 Sep. 2022.

Harvard: Twain, M, 'Chapter IV' in Sketches New and Old, trans. . cited in 1920, Sketches New and Old, Effingham Wilson, Royal Exchange, London. Original Sources, retrieved 30 September 2022, from