TO PAPIRIUS PAETUS

(Ad Fam. IX. xviii)

YOUR very agreeable letter found me wholly disengaged at my Tusculan villa. I retired hither during the absence of my pupils, whom I have sent to meet their victorious friend, in order to conciliate his good graces in my favour.

As Dionysius the tyrant, after he was expelled from Syracuse, opened a school, it is said, at Corinth; in the same manner, being driven from my dominions in the forum, I have erected a sort of academy in my own house: and I perceive, by your letter, that you approve the scheme. I have many reasons for approving it too, and principally as it affords me what is highly expedient in the present conjuncture, a mean of establishing an interest with those in whose friendship I may find a protection. How far my intentions in this respect may be answered, I know not: I can only say, that I have hitherto had no reason to prefer the different measures which others of the same party with myself have pursued; unless perhaps it would have been more eligible not to have survived the ruin of our cause. It would so, I confess, had I died either in the camp, or in the field: but the former did not happen to be my fate; and as to the latter, I never was engaged in any action. But the inglorious manner in which Pompey, together with Scipio, Afranius and your friend Lentulus, severally lost their lives, will scarcely, I suppose, be thought a more desirable lot. As to Cato’s death; it must be acknowledged to have been truly noble: and I can still follow his example, whenever I shall be so disposed. Let me only endeavour, as in fact I do, not to be compelled to it by the same necessity: and this is my first reason for engaging in my present scheme. My next is, that I find it an advantage, not only to my health, which began to be impaired by the intermission of exercises of this kind, but also to my oratorical talents, if any I ever possessed: which would have totally lost their vigour, if I had not had recourse to this method of keeping them in play. The last benefit I shall mention (and the principal one, I dare say, in your estimation) is, that it has introduced me to the demolishing of a greater number of delicious peacocks, than you have had the devouring of paltry pigeons in all your life. The truth of it is, whilst you are humbly sipping the meagre broths of the sneaking Aterius, I am luxuriously regaling myself with the savoury soups of the magnificent Hirtius. If you have any spirit then, fly hither, and learn from our elegant bills of fare, how to refine your own: though to do your talents justice, this is a sort of knowledge in which you are much superior to our instructions. However, since you can get no purchasers for your mortgages, and are not likely to fill those pitchers you mention with denarii, it will be your wisest scheme to return hither: for it is a better thing, let me tell you, to be sick with good eating at Rome, than for want of victuals at Naples. In short, I plainly perceive that your finances are in no flourishing situation, and I expect to hear the same account of all your neighbours: so that famine, my friend, most formidable famine must be your fate, if you do not provide against it in due time. And since you have been reduced to sell your horse, e’en mount your mule (the only animal, it seems, belonging to you which you have not yet sacrificed to your table) and convey yourself immediately to Rome. To encourage you to do so, you shall be honoured with a chair and cushion next to mine; and sit the second great pedagogue in my celebrated school. Farewell.

[46 B.C.]