Marriage in the olden days was permitted only to those who had been admitted into a mophato, i.e., to those who had been through the initiation ceremonies. The girls were generally married soon after they came out of the initiation "school." The boys, however, were expected to marry, not into the mophato of girls roughly contemporaneous with themselves, but into the one formed after that. This meant, in effect, that they had to wait anywhere from four to seven years after initiation before they could marry. Even then not all of them would be successful in obtaining wives immediately, for, owing to the practice of polygyny, many of the newly initiated girls would become the junior wives of elderly or middle-aged men. It was an accepted practice, however, that such boys should be allowed secret access to the younger wives of their male relatives in the same kxoro (lineage group). In particular, the boy’s rangwane (father’s younger brother) was expected to grant him this privilege. Any children born of such a union would, of course, be regarded as the legitimate offspring of the woman’s husband, in accordance with the rights established by the transfer of boxadi. This practice, so far from being looked upon in the light of adultery, was held to be highly justifiable, especially when the husband was old and impotent. The main idea underlying it was that the boy should "raise up seed" in the junior "house" of his relative. My informants, however, also stressed the fact that it gave these boys an opportunity for acquiring sexual experience which, if denied to them, now that they were old enough to marry, might have led to frequent attempts at seduction and other illicit means of obtaining sexual satisfaction.

These privileges were allowed only to boys who had been admitted into their mophato, and the women are said to have thought it shameful to sleep with anybody who was not circumcised. Before they had been initiated the young people of both sexes were expected to live chastely. I found it very difficult to obtain satisfactory information regarding premarital sexual relations. All my informants insisted that boys and girls were not allowed to mix together freely. The boys were sent out to the cattle posts away from the villages, and were kept there as long as possible, sometimes even after they had been initiated. A boy’s first wife was chosen for him by his parents, who, after making all the necessary arrangements, would call him home to marry her. This might be the first sight he had ever had of her. But in spite of this sexual segregation at adolescence, and although my informants maintained that premarital sexual intercourse in the olden days was an "unheard-of thing,"¹ it is obvious from what follows that chastity was not universally observed.

My informants could not tell me of the treatment meted out to youthful lovers who managed to avoid conception (and therefore in all probability discovery as well). On the other hand, they were able to describe to me, rather sketchily it is true, what happened to an unmarried girl who had conceived. But they all emphasized that such cases were very infrequent. It was regarded as a profound disgrace by her family if an unmarried girl became pregnant, and every effort was made to conceal the fact. If the matter ever became general knowledge, the unfortunate girl was subjected to every possible humiliation. She was stripped of all her decorations and no longer allowed to wear them; she might not cut her hair, but had to wear it long as a sign of disgrace; she was not allowed to mix with the other girls, lest she pollute them as well; she might not wash her head, nor smear her face and body with the usual ointment of fat; and if she had not yet been initiated she was not sent to the bojale (girls’ initiation school) with the rest of her coevals, but was separately treated. It was even said that attempts would be made to bewitch her, so that she might die together with the child in her womb. She was called by all sorts of opprobrious names, such as seaka (whore), and above all she was publicly mocked by the other girls and women, who would gather at night round her lapa (household enclosure) and sing obscene songs reviling her and her people. [For example, "to eat" is vulgarly used in the sense of "to copulate," and one of the songs contains the words: "She is eaten by everybody."]

All night long they would sing in this strain, and nobody could check them. If the pregnant girl, maddened by their mockery, rushed out of her hut to swear back at them, they listened quietly without interfering, but as soon as she had finished they would renew their singing with additional emphasis. Even if the chief himself tried to intervene, they would revile him in their songs as well, for they feared no one at this time. They kept on in this way until the girl was delivered of her baby, and by then the whole tribe would have become aware of her disgrace. Their mockery is said to have been the most powerful sanction against premarital pregnancy, for it was the one thing which the girls feared above all else.

The child of an unmarried woman, when it was not aborted, was usually killed at birth by her parents. My informants admitted that abortion was practiced, but could give me no indication as to what happened then. They said it was more usual for the child to be born, as a close watch was kept upon the girl once her pregnancy became known. No penalty was attached to the killing of the child; it was the custom of the whole tribe, for they were afraid to let such a child live. It was said that if it were allowed to mix with other people it would bring evil upon them, o ka fefa batho. In the rare instances where convention was defied and the child permitted to live, it could not be carried about in a thari (skin cradle) on its mother’s back, it might not mix with the other children, and above all, it dare not sit with other people around the fireplace at the kxotla (men’s gathering place).

Concerning the treatment of the girl’s lover I could obtain but little information. It was said that the girl was forced by her mother to reveal his name, and the matter would then be reported to his parents. There was a conflict of opinion as to whether he would be expected to marry the gift. Some informants said that under no circumstances would her parents consent to the match. Others insisted that he was forced to do so if he was eligible for marriage, i.e., if he was already the member of a mophato, and that if he was not, one of his father’s younger brothers would be asked to do so instead. In any case, it was agreed that his conduct was regarded as extremely disgraceful, and that he would be violently reproached for dishonoring his family and his tribe. If he had not yet been initiated, he was treated with special severity when he went to the boxwera (boys’ initiation school), and one old man hinted that it was by no means unusual for such a boy to be killed during the course of the ceremonies.¹

¹ This statement was not made for my special benefit. At a phuthexo (tribal gathering) called by the chief in June, 1931, to frame a statement of Kxatla marriage laws in response to a request from the Bechuanaland Protectorate Administration, the older men all said that seduction of unmarried girls was something unknown in the days of their youth. "These things are new," said old Rakabane; "we never heard of them until recently."

¹Schapera, I.n/an/an/an/an/a, "Premarital Pregnancy and Native Opinion," , 6: 64–68.