Rules and Regulations

Author: Lewis Carroll  | Date: 1845


A SHORT direction

To avoid dejection,

By variations

In occupations,

And prolongation

Of relaxation,

And combinations

Of recreations,

And disputation

On the state of the nation

In adaptation

To your station,

By invitations

To friends and relations,

By evitation

Of amputation,

By permutation

In conversation,

And deep reflection

You’ll avoid dejection.

Learn well your grammar,

And never stammer,

Write well and neatly,

And sing most sweetly,

Be enterprising,

Love early rising,

Go walk of six miles,

Have ready quick smiles,

With lightsome laughter,

Soft flowing after.

Drink tea, not coffee;

Never eat toffy.

Eat bread with butter.

Once more, don’t stutter.

Don’t waste your money,

Abstain from honey.

Shut doors behind you,

(Don’t slam them, mind you.)

Drink beer, not porter.

Don’t enter the water

Till to swim you are able.

Sit close to the table.

Take care of a candle.

Shut a door by the handle,

Don’t push with your shoulder

Until you are older.

Lose not a button.

Refuse cold mutton.

Starve your canaries.

Believe in fairies.

If you are able,

Don’t have a stable

With any mangers.

Be rude to strangers.

Moral: Behave.

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Chicago: Lewis Carroll, Rules and Regulations Original Sources, accessed May 25, 2024,

MLA: Carroll, Lewis. Rules and Regulations, Original Sources. 25 May. 2024.

Harvard: Carroll, L, Rules and Regulations. Original Sources, retrieved 25 May 2024, from